What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Do you agree with Kamala Harris that Donald Trump is dangerous?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why is India lagging behind China in economic development when India is a democracy while China isn’t?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What are some things you would change about Avatar: The Last Airbender if you were to redo the series?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I like this guy and his personality is AMAZING. He’s everything I want EXCEPT I’m not 100% attracted to him. I’ve dated some really hot guys and I’m wondering if that’s ruined dating for me? What do I do?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

This is a real question: Why do a lot of men/boys hate (yes, hate) women that voice their criteria in choosing a partner? Even when the criteria is sane and responsible. Besides it being, sadly, an effective mating strategy, why does it exist?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

TEXT:

Are there any men who have sex with male dogs?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Did another parent ever tell you something about your child that you didn’t know?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Did you ever receive genuine remarks from a medium regarding your deceased relative with information that the medium could never normally know?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I'm a 28-year-old guy who has never been in a relationship, nor can I seem to find someone who wants to be in one with me. Why do I feel like a freak?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Whats the rule that makes "please" pronounced the same as "pleas"?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!